OBITUARY for Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by the name of
Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United
States from heart failure on the beginning of the new millennium. No one
really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories, helping folks get jobs done
without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws,
and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited
with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of
the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life just isn't
always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's ok to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his
health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned, but overbearing regulations.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.

His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing
a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after
lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only
worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, Churches became businesses, criminals received better
treatment than their victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally, when a woman, failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was
kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, such
as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Author Unknown