Our First Five Year's

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Our First Five Year’s

Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding.

He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he inceaseth strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

To show you the Lord never leaves nor forsakes you in your darkest hours, here you will see how the first five year‘s of our marriage went and we seen it as every day living as we simply didn’t realize the devil would be so evil to God’s people.

Shortly after we were married Danny was burnt badly when he went to remove a cap from a hot radiator while he was on leave from Viet Nam. Then after recovering from his burns and could travel without pain he returned to Viet Nam for a second tour. While there he was wounded eighteen times by flying shrapnel and thank God, he came home in one piece so that we could continue on with our new life together.

A month or so after his return from Viet Nam we moved to Killeen, Texas where he was still on active duty. While there I had a miscarriage and my health begin to fail rapidly. Since Danny couldn’t take a leave to take me home in my weakened condition, he went AWOL to take me back to my parent’s as I had never been away from them before, and being so ill after the miscarriage, I needed my mother, her support and love more then ever.

Then later on I/we had problems with my biological family, and they simply had no mercy on a thing they did to me or us as their hate for me ran so deep.

During this time our first son was born. He was a beautiful baby, blonde hair and big blue eye’s. He was a baby that was allergic to everything, a baby that was sick all the time and a baby who became so attached to my Mother who cared for him when I worked, that he eventually ended up with her and my Dad for good and in my heart I knew he was in a better place then with us. No, it wasn’t an easy choice to make, but a choice that was realistic and in his best interest. I missed him so much, I spent many day’s wiping my tear’s even though he lived next door to us.

Then I became ill again with one infection after the other and it seemed as if the doctor‘s would never find anything to get the infections under control, so I was ill a lot myself.

Our second son was born and he was so tiny, and so very fragile as his respiratory system wasn’t fully developed when he was born as he was premature. Trip after trip to the emergency ward with him not knowing if he’d live or die, and after allowing our oldest son to live with my parent‘s, I just couldn‘t give him up no matter what to anyone, even though many friend‘s and family members told me he‘d never live to see his sixteenth birthday.

I/we continued on to church, but my faith was being overtaken by guilt, grief and newfound illnesses both for the new baby and myself.

Our house was shot up twice during the first five years by those we called family.

I hurt many in my anger and in my rebellion as I struggled to survive the madness that surrounded this family, and for that I’m truly sorry, but as I cried out to Jesus one more time the Lord seen the pain in my heart and in time he’d seen to it that I would be

Healed in a very special way when his timing was right for me.

Then another miscarriage, more infections, more then I could handle as they nearly cost me my life as gangrene was taking over my body, major surgery had to be preformed in order to save my life one more time.

Shortly afterwards we had went camping and I drank from a faucet carrying the Hepatitis virus, I came down with it and was laid up for another six weeks or so and no one knew if I‘d make it through it as I had, had it for so long before going for medical help.

I wrecked our car and having no insurance we had to pay for the other car but thankfully no one was injured and that made me feel some better about what I had did this time.

Danny couldn’t keep a job for long periods of time, as I‘m sure he suffered from Post Traumatic Stress after coming back from Nam, so money was always an issue for us.

We moved so many times trying to escape the constant torment other’s were causing us that I wondered many times, “Why should we even unpack the thing‘s we toted around with us from place to place.

Example: Prowler’s that banged on window’s or door’s late at night threatening phone calls as many relatives set around to hear what my Reponses would be as I answered the phone in terror another time. One member of the family became so concerned about what was taking place eventually confessed the part they were playing in these nightly games and I begin to fight back the only way I could, with a gun and threats of my own.

Along with these family fight’s that involved the police more then once, the police could never do anything as there were no witnesses, just my word of what took place and when word leaked out about what all the police would do in which was nothing, the terror became more frequent.

Unfortunately we were involved in two shooting’s that were provoked by stranger’s and the neighborhood came together to fight the intruder’s off, leaving one man shot in one incidence and in the other one, several went to the hospital for treatment.

I ended up going to jail for grand theft auto…they got me for stealing my own car…my name was second on the title, yes a relative called the police and said I stole the car that I was helping to pay for. I spent three horrible day’s in jail for this one before the matter was cleared up.

There were several death’s, two of the death’s were my grandpa’s and the other one’s were also family members and I hated to attend any family function as it always ended up with a fight and the police present.

Mind games that were meant to destroy me never stopped, and in year‘s ahead they only increased to a new depth each time someone noticed I hadn’t gave up on life yet.

I only trusted a choice few as I knew my best interest was their main concern, yet, I never listened as they told me of my future, or the impending danger I‘d be placed in from time to time.

Danny and I separated because of different life style’s and opinion’s. One disagreement always took place because of a big difference in opinions we had concerning my biological family. They loved him and he could only see that the fights taking place were all my fault, and this caused major problems between the two of us as I knew who they were, and I knew what they had and were doing without a doubt as these battle’s had been going on since I was born and I was sick of them.

I battled a sibling involved in Satanism during this time and nope, I didn’t know the first thing about it. I didn’t even know such thing’s existed period as I was raised in a church that didn‘t preach about the devil and all of his evil deeds. We/I was taught to live by the ten commandments, and the thing’s listed in these commandments were the thing’s I had to be concerned with and nothing else period I thought. O dear friend, how wrong I was!!!

A man stepped out from behind a wooden fence placing a knife to my throat, taking me to my parent’s house to rob them, but his attempt failed as my dad threatened to shoot us both if he didn’t let me go as he had other member’s in the house he had to protect as well, thankfully the man took him at his word and shoved me into my mom who was standing next to my dead and the shotgun that was pointed in my direction.

The neighborhood we lived in never slept as it was full of drug addict’s and the common drunk. One of our neighbor’s I had been trying to help come off of heron, held me at gunpoint but finally settled on a piece of candy instead of that fix he‘d planned on finding in my/our house but he came to his senses realizing there were no drugs in our house ever to be found; but a short time later he was killed robbing a liquor store for money to buy him more junk leaving his wife and daughter to fend for themselves.

Very faithfully we continued to attend Church and the more we went, the more I battled my one sibling as he tried to get me to prove to him how powerful my God was. My only defense at that time was to tell him, “I am not to test my Lord.” My sibling laughed and mocked me for doing my best to defend the God I served in my na´ve way, so our battle raged on for more year’s then I care to count or even think about right now as I still truly had no idea of what all his powers meant when it came to me or those that I held close to my heart.

Over the year’s I had to learn how to not only fight this evilness that surrounded us, but I had to learn how to hear the Holy Spirit speak to me, so that I could act and say the thing’s he spoke to me instantly in order to survive many attacks taking place in our lives.

Not only did outsider’s bring torment, my own husband thought I had went mad and my nickname for year’s was crazy, or crazy lady. But by this time, I knew if I had to be delivered of nine demon’s in order to serve the Lord in which I had been, I sure wasn’t going to give it up easily to these tactic’s, so it didn’t really matter to me who said what most of the time even though some of the thing’s cut all the way to the very depth of my soul and I‘d spend half the night crying over the ill spoken words. Although I showed my human weakness more then once as I’d cry myself to sleep in the arm‘s of my Lord night after night for a long, long time as it was the only place I could find the peace, friendship and love I searched for, I knew I couldn‘t give up that Jesus was my only hope.

I am so very thankful though for each battle and each obstacle now, because the Lord showed me, he never left me, he never left us, as he had covered us with his precious blood, and never once did he turn his head or hide his face from us, he‘d just fight the battle until I could get back up and carry my own cross as he knew it would get so heavy, I just couldn‘t carry it anymore. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!!!

Even though we were beaten to a pulp many times and even though we faced doom, the Lord showered us with his Amazing Grace, Love and Compassion and the first five year‘s have been the easiest of all for us dear friend.

O how we Praise His Holy Righteous Name, for there is none other who can or will ever take his place, for He is the Living God, Jesus Christ, the love of our lives.

For other stories that cover our life and the battle’s we’ve been involved in, please read our spiritual warfare stories at http://gzsus2.tripod.com and when we can afford it the stories can be found at http://www.gzsus2.com but unfortunately money has never been a steady flow in our household for one reason or another but the Lord always sees fit to get us through one more financial crisis and yes, we count on him doing just that month to month.

There isn’t a story one that we have told about our lives, that is a lie, nor are they put out in the open for anyone to feel bad for us because as we look back over the year‘s we see one major training ground for something else later on in life. These thing’s are being written about, posted and distributed to other’s so that they can learn some of the thing’s we have endured over the year’s and it‘s a way to bring home into other lives who feel they just can‘t go on, but friend, you can!!! You can make it!!! Just trust in the Lord Jesus all the way home.

My heart goes out to anyone caught up in battle’s such as these. Truly I understand how you can feel the doom; how you can only see the darkness in the tunnel that is suffocating you~ but I tell you in the name of Jesus, “There is Light in the tunnel, you just can’t see it, as it is the Light that has gotten you as far as you are right now. Praise the Lord dear brother or sister, because if it wasn’t for this amazing Light, you would of already stopped trying to reach the end of that long dark, dreary tunnel~ but you haven‘t, so know that Victory is at hand, just keep moving forward singing praises all the way forgetting about your heavy heart, your pain filled body, and your tear filled eye‘s as the Lord cares for all these things in your behalf as you keep your eye‘s upon him, and know he is ever so faithful to see you through these very trying days as you believe more and more in the thing‘s you can‘t see.

I have found over the year’s, the Lord work’s when I can’t. He heals me when the devil moves in for another kill, and he strengthens me for one more battle and these things he will do for you and more.

God bless you,

Little Spider